Unemployment Blues

     Well, we're wrapping up June, and hopefully also, the June blues. It's been a whole two months since I was last employed. You would think that, as a teenager, I am stoked about this. However, I am not. I'm broke, and that means no new clothes. That also means I am about to lose a bunch of weight. I thought being jobless would be a nice break. It always takes awhile to find a job. But this, this is too long. Instead of the break I pictured, a lovely, sunny vacation filled with sipping lemonade at the beach, it's been more of a...well, let's just say afternoon is the new morning, and boxer shorts and tee shirts are the new version of being dressed.
     June was, to be blunt, boring. Summer vacation always starts bad. When July is born, panic is also born, and summer becomes worth something. This summer, especially, is panic-filled and depressing. This is the last summer I'll ever have school after. Well, except college..but that's just not the same. I'll never have to go school shopping again. I'll never have to get lunch money again. I'll never have to worry about remembering a locker combination. That's scary. No, it's TERRIFYING. I'm about to become an adult, and it's not fun. At all. I had a job that, while I hated it, it was still a job. I was still given currency in exchange for services. And I need that again. There is nothing more degrading, humiliating, depressing, and downright sad than me without a job. It's horrid. I am just a bum sitting around. I don't see myself as anything important. So, that's all of June. Me applying for jobs, me feeling like crap. 
     Also, I hung out with Cidney a lot. You know, the whole feeling crappy thing? Yeah. Before we got together, I had quite a lot to offer. I was at least passing most things, that employment thing was full swing, and I was still motivated. When school let out, everything kind of fell apart, and I became lame. So now, all that I had to offer, I need to go fishing for, because it's in the toilet. I am now SUPER BUM! 
     Coming up in a few days is JULY. Which means fireworks and barbecues and, hopefully, swimming. I've been craving it. I've only been swimming once so far, and Tatum tried to drown me. And I was pre-occupied with being really ticked. Grandma's birthday is coming, which means I get to see her. I miss the crap out of my grandma. I'm not used to not being around her constantly. She used to text me and call me multiple times a day to ask for help with things. Now she's a couple hours away, and I really miss being needed! I could always count on Grandma to make me feel useful. 
     Another thing that's happening in July...my mom's coming. *twilight zone theme plays* Yes, that means I have to see her. For a week. And then, I have to hang out with the kids for ANOTHER week. I'm panicking. My mom. I managed to go get the only two people in the universe that it is IMPOSSIBLE to impress, as parents. And, since I've been extremely unimpressive lately, I feel there may be impending drama and tense, awkward, forced conversation. Joy to the world. But, I'll deal with it, because I really missed my siblings. More people that needed me. You know, to have someone to take them to the park and give them junk food and whatnot. 
     Basically, the moral of the past few months...it's nice to be needed, and I need a job. Woot :)