Life and Its Lemons

Ever heard the statement "If life gives you lemons, make lemonade?" Well, that is complete and total crap. Life gave you lemons, not sugar, lemons, and water. If, in fact, you COULD make lemonade out of the metaphorical lemons life gave you, I would not be complaining. I would be sitting in the sunshine, drinking a glass of life liquid. But no. Lemons are also a very bad example. Some people, myself included, very much enjoy lemons. They are a tangy treat. They're like a food AND a drink, all in one, and you can use it on virtually anything to create a lovely accent. That is not how life's lemons work.
     Yesterday, someone had the audacity to put their hand on my shoulder and say just that. "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade." I half expected her to end her sentence with a 'gosh-darnit' and a hillbilly knee-slap. She had a gleeful smile and a bounce in her walk.
     Lately, my life has been less than perfect. Not homeless old man horrible, but pretty close. I lost my job in April, thus making April what I could only WISH was the worst month of my year. Turns out, that wish was in vain. May has become the poster-child for horrible months. At this point, I could chop off a foot and it would be considered comic relief.
     Summer vacation is about a week from beginning, and I am less than pleased. I am about to embark on a three month journey through what I can only assume is hell. Yay. I plan on spending my summer isolated from the world and cranky. That is how it is projected. How would I prefer spending my summer? Swimming, staying with the Bigleys, hanging out with friends...oh, yeah...and drinking lemonade. So, for all the idiots who describe life as an entity that presents lemons to sad-sacks and complainers...go lick an electric fence. I will forever hate you.